The Shloshim for Beth Samuels was last week, and there were ceremonies in both California and New York City. Sarah and I went to the one here on Sunday night at Drisha. Rana, her parents, and Beth's husband Ari flew in to speak. Hundreds of people packed into the room, and Drisha named it's summer high school program after Beth.
What struck me most was how religious Judaism provides such a necessary structure and language for dealing with death. Not only are there various actions, customs and milestones, but they're couched in a highly developed exegesis and sense of community that leaves mourners with something other than a gaping void where that person used to be.
What struck me most was how religious Judaism provides such a necessary structure and language for dealing with death. Not only are there various actions, customs and milestones, but they're couched in a highly developed exegesis and sense of community that leaves mourners with something other than a gaping void where that person used to be.
posted by isaacjosephson at 6:53 AM
3 Comments:
I've heard many people criticize the process as too complicated or lengthy. Yet, my mom has said the same thing as you just did. When her father died, she said that she found the traditional mourning structure extremely comforting. The ritual of having people come to your home for several days as a community, attending morning prayers daily instead of being home alone, and attending weekly Shabbat services as a community -- she noted -- helped shepherd her through a time that was incredibly difficult. It didn't make her miss my grandpa any less, or make his passing any less sad, but it reminds you that you are not alone.
It's about the community. But for the religious Jews, it's also about the shirim, the exegisis. Speaker after speaker put Beth's life in the context of Torah/Tanach in a way that wasn't at all hokey. It's hard for me to explain because I don't really have the textual knowledge to get what they were saying. But it was much more comforting than simply falling back on the "Beth was a great person" comments (though there was also plenty of that).
Hey, I just ran across this today through Google. I just heard about her passing today as I was recommending her to a fellow Berkeley undergrad. She taught me Abstract Algebra in the fall of 05. The day we learned about groups formed by rotations she asked each of us to take out a sheet of paper and make squares, then label the corners, sides, and diagonals and rotate our squares. She made it seems like elementry school again.
She had this fast pace when she lectured, most Math profs seem to, it comes with the material I guess. But some profs seem frustrated when they are in a hurry, Beth was more like happy and hyper.
I think the best part was her 'board work'. It is the reason I was recommending her class. If all you did was write down exactly what was written on the board, your notes ware all you needed to understand the material.
I only went to her office hours a few times for help with homework. I and another student were there one day an hour before homework was due. We were having trouble with a proof in the homework and all three of were stumped. I remember she brought up the idea of us asking for an extension on it. I was thinking I would just have to miss that problem but she was cool about it. She wanted us to finish.
Just thought I'd share.
-Thomas Barrios
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