Stuck Inside of Brooklyn, With the Berkeley Blues Again (part 1)

Differences between beaches on the West Coast and beaches on the East Coast:

West Coast beaches are backed up by beautiful mountains. East Coast beaches are backed up by dingy, Roosevelt-era apartment complexes that look like federal prisons.

West Coast beaches have nothing but ocean and seagulls in front of them. East Coast beaches are buzzed every five minutes by an airplane carrying a Gaico or Mountain Dew advertisement banner.

West Coast beaches are populated with quiet, unassuming people who keep to themselves. East Coast beaches are packed to the gills with fat familes lugging their entire living room along, including the stereo.

To get to most West Coast beaches, you hike, bike, or drive through breathtaking scenery -- tall trees, waves of wild grass, sheer rock faces. To get to East Coast beaches, you take the Van Wyck parkway (along with the 1.5 million other people) to JFK airport, hang a right, pass legions of used car dealerships and dilapidated department stores, pay a bored bridge keeper a buck fifty, and spend thirty minutes in search of parking.