A few readers have commented to me that I make fatherhood sound doable, fun even.
While I'm honored that anyone would think of me as a cheerleader for children, I want to be clear about this: My life has changed radically since Asher was born.
A good friend of mine recently premiered his latest film at Lincoln Center. I couldn't go. Another friend's band has played several shows in the past couple of months. I've been to zero of them. Yet another old friend recently ended a 10-year relationship. I haven't even had time to ask her how she's doing. Birthday celebrations go unattended. Art openings are missed. Hell, one of my favorite jazz musicians played a free show at a venue less than 100 yards away from my house. I was busy putting Asher, then myself to bed. And let's not even get started on exercise. Suffice to say, I've been relegated to groggy pre-sunrise runs.
Instead, I am now part of the Community of Young Parents. We go for walks on weekends. We occasionally go to each other's homes for dinner - but only if there's an extra pack-and-play for the baby. We cherish the rare, relaxed meal with our spouses. Decadence is lemon meringue pie, and outdoor adventure consists of a stolen moment on the stoop on the way back from taking out the garbage. Art and politics have been at least partially supplanted by strollers and infant sleep issues as conversation topics.
To be fair, I have met some interesting folks in this Community of Young Parents - teachers, authors, neuroscientists. They're nice. They're interesting. And maybe, I'd have been friends with some of them even without the kid-connection. But, sometimes I still get annoyed with them - only because they mirror my life, which has become at times frustratingly sedentary.
OK, so is it worth it?
Sarah and I are even better together - as lovers, as partners, as friends. Asher truly makes all of my troubles go away when he smiles at me. I appreciate little things more - stolen moments, flowering trees, cracked vocal harmonies at the end of an old R.E.M. song. And as summer approaches, I look forward to concerts in the park, early morning walks with Asher while Sarah's still asleep, summer squash, and hikes in the Hudson Valley with a baby on my back.
You bet, it's worth it.
While I'm honored that anyone would think of me as a cheerleader for children, I want to be clear about this: My life has changed radically since Asher was born.
A good friend of mine recently premiered his latest film at Lincoln Center. I couldn't go. Another friend's band has played several shows in the past couple of months. I've been to zero of them. Yet another old friend recently ended a 10-year relationship. I haven't even had time to ask her how she's doing. Birthday celebrations go unattended. Art openings are missed. Hell, one of my favorite jazz musicians played a free show at a venue less than 100 yards away from my house. I was busy putting Asher, then myself to bed. And let's not even get started on exercise. Suffice to say, I've been relegated to groggy pre-sunrise runs.
Instead, I am now part of the Community of Young Parents. We go for walks on weekends. We occasionally go to each other's homes for dinner - but only if there's an extra pack-and-play for the baby. We cherish the rare, relaxed meal with our spouses. Decadence is lemon meringue pie, and outdoor adventure consists of a stolen moment on the stoop on the way back from taking out the garbage. Art and politics have been at least partially supplanted by strollers and infant sleep issues as conversation topics.
To be fair, I have met some interesting folks in this Community of Young Parents - teachers, authors, neuroscientists. They're nice. They're interesting. And maybe, I'd have been friends with some of them even without the kid-connection. But, sometimes I still get annoyed with them - only because they mirror my life, which has become at times frustratingly sedentary.
OK, so is it worth it?
Sarah and I are even better together - as lovers, as partners, as friends. Asher truly makes all of my troubles go away when he smiles at me. I appreciate little things more - stolen moments, flowering trees, cracked vocal harmonies at the end of an old R.E.M. song. And as summer approaches, I look forward to concerts in the park, early morning walks with Asher while Sarah's still asleep, summer squash, and hikes in the Hudson Valley with a baby on my back.
You bet, it's worth it.
posted by isaacjosephson at 8:01 AM
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