"Oh, he's definitely smiling!"

"Look, he's TOTALLY transfixed by that purple stuffed duck on the mobile!"

I recognize why this is annoying to hear if you don't have kids yourself. I mean, let's face it, waving his hands excitedly over the presence of a purple and yellow duck... it's not exactly like the kid is reading Shakespeare.

That said, I'm beginning to realize why new parents talk so incessantly (and insipidly) about their babies' barely recognizable cognitive progress. It's like this: You get home from the hospital. The excitement wears off. The grandparents go back to where grandparents come from. And you're left with this bundle of squirming, screaming flesh that you feel compelled to care for day in and day out. There's zero true interaction between you and the kid. No recognition from him - only a few reflex reactions to cold hands or hunger pangs. Part of you starts to wonder if this thing is really a person.

So, when he finally does begin to show some preferences, and you can tell that he's actually paying attention to something, there's hope. He's human! If he can track the stupid purple duck, that means he'll be able to do other things at some point - play guitar with you, kick a soccer ball around with you, go for a hike, argue philosophy and hide Jack Daniels under his bed. All of your daydreams re-materialize.

On that note, Asher's sorta smiling and definitely loves the purple stuffed duck hanging from the play-mat thingy. Or is it a dinosaur?

Oh god, I hope it's not the purple dinosaur.